Reader

Tonight after dinner, I ate a piece of left over cake from my parents 25th anniversary party. It has left me feeling a little too full for any evening exercise. Instead I wish to stretch out my sore, contracted muscles whose state is courtesy of yesterdays basketballing. However, I feel like I also need to stimulate my mind, in fact, stretching would be incredibly boring without any kind of mental activity. Also, I can't be left to my own thoughts, they can't be trusted (see: pressure washer incident). What I really want to do is read this new article at NewYorker.com about Obama. However, I can't adequately stretch and read this article at the same time. What I really would need is someone to read the whole 15 page article out loud for me as I stretch. I realized when I thought this how ridiculous that would be, hiring someone to read articles out loud for you as you do other things. However, I really would like to both stretch and be read to at the same time. I guess being extremely rich or having a caring girlfriend/wife would really come in handy right now. I really would feel bad making someone do such a task anyways, unless they too were interested in reading said article. In any case, I have neither read nor stretched but instead have written this blog post to explain my feelings to you, whoever you are, now reading this.