my continually new "self"

i have done some thinking, and maybe "the very notion that there are such things as selves—individuals who persist over time" is not so true. maybe i am who i am at one moment in time and what i believe is the cause of who i currently am (my past history) is only a perception rather than a reality.

this thought, though not beyond what reasonable people probably agree with without thinking of and not really that novel, perturbs me slightly. To help aid myself to have a more accurate perception of my past, i want to write in this blog more often. That way, I can come back and check up on things.

Anyways, things have been going pretty good. I have finally decided just to relax and enjoy summer, as opposed to trying to get a head start on my law studies. July 4th was a reunion of windsor peeps of sorts and it was really good times, props to dan and others for that.

Work has been going well, if a little tiring and laborious; and my sister came home last tuesday. Recently we have been playing large scale basketball games. It consists of two crews. My crew which usually is a rotating cast of characters: pat, alok, aakash, steve, nick, justin and jason berman, jerry and others. We face off against chris z, greg panos, the robesons, justin verrier, laruen dillon, sean elligers, and mike torf. as you can see, we have enough to have subs on both sides. the games have been pretty intense and very enjoyable.

My knees have recently started to hurt a lot, so i am going to try and dead all my cardiovascular activities besides these bball games which means an end to my running and biking. I have still been going to the gym with jerry on a semi regular basis and increasing my strength which has been cool. I have been eating pretty poorly as of recent though so as I cut back on cardiovascular exercise it's probably a good idea to curb my eating of carbs.

I have been doing a lot of reading this last couple weeks, just random online magazine reading. A lot of the reading has been about the intelligence level of animals, something i find very interesting. Even though one doesn't currently exist, the idea of a separate sentient species that humans could interact with, a whole different type of organism, fascinates me. An interesting (and possibly evolutionary impossible) hypothetical is what life would be like if the earth was mostly covered with water and did not really have land masses and sentient sea creatures evolved (like super advanced whales). What would their lives be like?

I also read some stuff about the genetics of religion and one idea that intrigued me was that a person who believes in the concept of "luck" or "karma" in the supernatural sense is a religious person, i had never thought of this before, and i find it a conceit that i can agree with.

Anyways, i think this may be enough for now.

Yesterday, which was a sunday, i went to the gym with jerry then later went over his place and watched a pool volleyball game, played some poker, then ate pizza and chilled, and after that went directly to ice cream place in the center of town to meet up with vicky. it was funny i was talking to chris p on the phone in the parking lot and all the sudden reed zacharias just biked up to me, apparently he was going for an evening ride, which is cool. Now that i think of it, i wonder who is taller, reed or kelton, i am going to guess reed. Anyways, after ice cream with vicky we went to the establishment across the street, the union street tavern, with pat mccooe. I proceeded to drink a lot, as i had not drank in awhile and wanted a good buzz (LOOOOL). i had 3 drinks, pat had 2, and vicky had 1. I had to rush the 3rd drink cuz the place was about to close and on the way back home i called chris p as i was driving and told him of my state and he made me end the call and call him when i got to my house, that good Samaritan he is haha.

that is all.

peaceee.

wait, some more things

things i really want to do:
visit DC

thing i am currently waiting to do:
watch the new harry potter in IMAX 3d.


PEACE

GOOD MORNING...WINDSOR!!!

hey, long time no see. since my last blog post I started working, got some law school books, went to a crazy graduation party, went to a sick concert in NYC, got a posse of indian family together in suits, some buzzed and some torched and we beat some old school windsor peeps in some BBALL annnnd also its a close call, depending on what factors you decide to weigh the heaviest, but i may be in the best shape of my life.

anyyyways, for what i have been doing recently.

brett was home for the latter half of this week so i was hanging out with him. Pat, Brett, and I went to see TF2 which was pretty good times. saw some great fireflies in action over the bridge to loomis chaffee school with them and steve the other night also. work has been pretty good times, boss is pretty cool, other interns are cool. most of the time im doing some odd research but whenever i get to go to hearings it can def be entertaining. the best by far has to be the liquor hearing about Shay's Great American Bar and Grill which sounds like it would be a great place to hang out pre Aug 08 when it got busted hahaha.

Also got to meet and ask questions to a state supreme court judge which was really cool. while we were walking around the offices inside the building there was a office marked "Judge Ment." I don't know if this means there is a Judge somewhere whose last name is Ment, but if so, that is hilarious.

I've been playing a lot of basketball, and exercising in general, but don't let that fool you into thinking ive gone all health nut. Yesterday I had 2 full meals and then some and then at night proceeded to finish off an entire pizza, It was super good times, i heart eating tasty food.

I got some law books that i should get to reading, i will start reading them like its my job in july, at least thats the plan. we'll see how it goes, u know me, i studied probably 1/64th what i planned to for the LSAT, maybe less.

Michael Jackson died this last thursday. It's pretty crazy. I saw a snippet of something from byron crawford on twitter and then as i was driving to Uconn West Hartford to meet Alok and his friends to play bball both 103.1 and 93.7 were playing MJ and they dont normally do that. SO i hurriedly called Chris P and he told me that MJ had only reportedly gone to the hospital for cardiac arrest and hadn't died. But then while playing basketball he called me back and someone got a text saying he was dead, which was pretty shocking. It's weird because I've never met the guy, I havent really been an active fan in years, but it still kinda made me feel a strange sadness when I heard he died. I went home and I finally opened the 2nd (i opened and probably lost the 1st) MJ #1's cd I got for my 16th birthday party and ripped it to my mp3 player and have been listening to it on and off since then.

Tomorrow is the BET awards and there is def going to be a tribute to MJ of course. Rumors swirl that Chris Brown might do a tribute to him, which would help him get back on to rebuilding his image, I hope that does happen, just cuz i want to see what that would look like and see the effect it has on its image, but i have a feeling it wont.

So tomorrow my 3 things to do are, 1. mow the lawn, 2. go to the gym with jerry, and 3. watch the BET awards at Aakash's house.

next week Dan is having a 4th of july BBQ at his house, which i am looking forward to cuz i havent seen him or Sarah in awhile.

And i hope osmetime this July for one weekend i go visit all my peeps in DC!!! that would be great, and im almost positive it will happen.


as far as today, i was supposed to go to Veena's wedding but i didn't. I wish her all the happiness in the world though. But, I can't really remember her face and i'm pretty sure we have never had a conversation over 30 seconds in my life. It is rough because i used to be friends with these guys, but I havent seen them in years and the wedding is not the right place to rekindle those kinds of bonds I feel like, it's way too personal. I enjoy relaxing and taking things easy when I can. I wouldn't want to get formal and be all polite and have to talk to people in that kind of situation unless it was people I was really close with. I was glad my parents kind of understood where I was coming from and didn't hassle me too much about not going.

Anyways, today i just hung around, watched some tv, went to the gym with Jerry and Marlene, hung around some more and eventually went on a relaxing bike ride at dusk through some old school spots I Hadn't been through in awhile. and I rode through all the new construction that has come through, including all the duplex houses and the new ING building.

Anyways, im going to go relax, maybe watch some boondocks, maybe lie in bed and dream, then fall asleep lol. THIS HAS BEEN A HUGE UPDATE. I hope it doesn't take me as long to do another post as it has in the past, i want to update this blog fairly regularly.

HAYLO soldier, ur not ready for war. N-N-N too strong for ya'll

what up, been graduated almost 5 days now.

just been relaxing at the house, eating way too much. got a hair cut. yayyy.

started trying to learn the piano. today I actually started reading music, bad news is the music is way too advanced for me, i have no idea how to keep time, and i dont know the basic setup of where my hands are supposed to be before i start playing ect ect. also the keyboard im using has only 33-35 keys instead of the usual 88, lol. so i clearly have to step my piano game up.

played bball with alok yesterday, got lost trying to get to west hartford univ of CT. parking lot court, lol.

aakash is in the hospital, his ulcer is acting up. So far he has stabilized, but he doesnt seem to be getting much better. I'm sure he will be fine though, hang in there big guy. I actually visited him today, he was chilling watching full house and sponge bob lol.

okay, i got a gym membership today so i am about to go run. I know i could run outside, but its hot and the road is uneven and bumpy lol. ppeaceeee

What Up World, Its The End of GWU For Me!

Hey World. Well, I am about to graduate in 3 days. Maybe it is at times like this, moments of immense transition, that one is supposed to ruminate on how he has lived his life. In any case, it's probably the time that most of us do so anyways.

So, I am graduating with a double major in economics and statistics without a job prospect in sight. The half way good news though is that I decided to continue schooling myself in the ways of the world, this time shifting to the ways of law. Worst come to worst, I could have probably found a job, but it probably wouldn't have been the greatest one (read: pay well) and my law school decision could possibly end up being a better move in the long run. But, as my favorite quotation says: "In the long run, we are all dead."

LOL.

Anywho, This last 4 years has definitely been an enlightening experience filled with personal discovery and I hope...growth. It amazes me that in the past, whenever I have thought I have had it all figured out, a few years later I have a completely different philosophical standpoint. The lesson I've learned is that I should never assume I "get it," and for the last 2 years that has basically been my modus operandi. Another lesson: almost all of the things my parents warned me about or told me to do that I disagreed with turned out to be true. Or maybe I'm looking at the past subjectively. I still remember a phone call with my mom last semester where she basically ended the conversation by telling me not to leave my room after dark for the sake of my own safety, ROFFLE.


So, what have I learned about life? IDK. I know that there is so much out there that I have yet to experience, that I will probably never experience. I know I would like to, but at the same time I understand that life, as we know it, is essentially meaningless, in that the only point of life may be existence itself.

Anyways, I have also learned the value of personal investment. Invest in yourself through hard work and dedication, build your self up and you will be an asset to the world. Because of this, I want to be a hard worker, I want to be on my grind. I have a plan, I've always had plans. My only question is, when do the plans end. Will it always just be constant hard work. Maybe it will be, maybe i'll have the weekends to play. In any case, I think I can deal with it. Without any work to do, what would I have to do anyways?

Wow, this is getting pretty rambley.

Another lesson I've learned with is that your much better off laughing something off than making a big deal about it. Anger is so temporary, sometimes when it wears off you feel like you're waking up from a strange dream. But, on the other hand, actions are the basis for character, and you can't excuse every little indiscretion.

In the end, its all about the people you know. The relationships you have with the world outside your mind. I think the most important lesson I can think of right now that I should remember for the rest of life is that I could live a life of solitude if i wanted. But, for whatever physiological reason, it would make me a miserable person. I think that your connection to the outside world is probably the single most important aspect of my life, and I want it to grow.

In any case, another lesson i've learned is that its tough to fight your emotions. You can try and reason with them, but they are so visceral and primal, its tough to put them to bed, even if your higher consciousness wants to. Doesn't mean you shouldn't stop trying though. Except, I guess happiness is the one emotion that I want, even if it turns out to be irrational.

Sum Up:

goodbye GWU, I've had some great times, I've had some bad times, but hey: it coulda been a lot worse.

AND

hello NYU.

Lupe Fiasco - is he a solo artist?

What up yo. Lupe Fiasco is a solo artist, but Matthew Santos is on half the hooks, damn that Santos has a great voice. Apparently he can't write though. I wonder if his solo material is any good, I do know that Lupe writes all the hooks that Santos sings on Lupes albums.

anyway, I can't wait to hear this song in full:



too bad he is saying "I thought I was down" instead of "I thought I was god"
"I thought I was god" would be a much more interesting chorus line than the bland and generic "I thought I was down"

if Lupe didn't delete his twitter account I would tell him that myself.

Oh well, guess its up to me to write the I thought I was god song. Too bad I have never thought that, I will try and channel chris p. OH SNAP!

I'm Such a Great "Mathlete!"

On Monday I trudged my way through the thick rain with no umbrella (forgot it on Amtrak) from E street all the way to the to the crumbling, stale green basement of the GWU Stat department on Penn Ave.

Usually me and this other stat tutor chit chat while we switch over shifts. I noticed she was on a website custom designing a t-shirt. It was a bright green shirt with "Mathlete" emblazoned on the front. My first reaction was, "oh snap!" she must have been a mathlete too, or at least appreciates them, I must fill her in on my mathletic past!

So I asked her about the t-shirt and it actually had quite the backstory. Her roommate works for the Special Olympics headquarters in DC and is always telling her about how the staff there uses the word "athlete" interchangeably with the word "retard." For example: "That Jimmy, he is such a great athlete!" I know, how messed up is that? And these are the same people who got on Obama for the bowling comment, LOL.

Anyways, apparently her and her boyfriend have always joked about this unseemly reversal and even took it one step further. They decided that, along the same line of thinking: retard is to athlete as social retard is to mathlete. Thus, as a special inside joke she was making mathlete t-shirts as a birthday present for her boyfriend.

At this point I thanked my luck that I hadn't excitedly brought up my past exploits on the math team before she explained the story behind her t-shirt. Oh well, one day us mathletes will rise up and gain the respect we deserve.

elementary school redux pt.1

I have realized that during my elementary school time white people probably differentiated themselves by the European country of their ancestors. The parents of Irish children probably told them of their proud Irish heritage and maybe some of them told them of some bad deeds the English may have done in the past. Italian families probably watched The Godfather and lamented the fall of Mussolini (JK.....he never fell, ask his grand daughter). Jewish parents probably taught their kids the dradel song. I wonder if any animosity or discomfort was brought upon by differences in "race" between children.

I had no such problems when I was in elementary school. They were all just white to me. It was only later that I learned of these things. Pat denies he's any part German, Dan hates the English, and I don't fancy any race or creed. down with the planet!